these few days was quite stuck with this song (手放开) which i update on my blog.....
the lyrics in fact make sense to me on this relationship stuff.... what the point of holding something which does not belongs to you and making people around you getting hurt from it....
letting go... it may be a correct thing to do... but also not always right... but as long as i try my best during the process at least i can tell myself tat i alrdy give in my best le... no matter wat's the result it is... i won't regret...
for this time round i decided not to say out as i really dunno how to do or say out to him at all... further more ppl alrdy in a gd relationship... so wat's the point for me to go spoilt it.... i would rather stay with this friendship than spoilt this with my confession to him.... this way it might be a gd way for me, him n his gf...
if i'm going to sacrifice the things which i alrdy have in order to get something that which will never belong to me.... i will think twice before i do it... it will always be wise for all to think twice before doing anything as the price for it may be heavy....
at least for now i did sort out my feelings during the wkend while listening to this song.... (tat's one gd thing which i done =P)
time to get back to my stuff... i will update more once i gt my free time as quite a lot of stuff happened during the wkend....
Monday, September 29, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
hmm... today gt quite alot of surprises... cos today got special guests came to see my blog wor... in the past one esp (ivan) sometime come in see see.... but today joe jason n xiao ping gai came to see wor... nan de nan de.... well today alrdy try my best nt to get emo after tat bad incident... but at the same time i also recall back the past... it may be painful to think back but it also brought back the happy n sweet time in the past... memories also reminds me the mistake i made in the past.... mistake which i should learn from it.... n them... looking back... it is just as if they just pass-by but a pass-by which left me a memories which i can nv forget... it might be short... but at least it is a process of my life... at least i can remembered tat for once i really had my feelings on him before... it just tat we are nt destined to be together... n holding onto something does not belongs to me won't makes me happy.... just like these sentence which i heard from some places,
"love a person is nt to hold on him/her tightly until they lost their freedom.... is to let go when the time is right n let them go pursuit their happiness"
"letting go is also a form of love as you would rather to see him/her to be happy than holding onto it where it will lead to more ppl getting hurt"
my fate is still out there somewhere... waiting for me to go find him.... it is either he is right beside me n i dun even know abt it.... or i will just miss him as i'm just too slow to discover him....
life as a single may be alittle bored... but at least i still gt the freedom to do the stuff i want... even though arnd me some of my friends are attached.... but attached n single got their own pros n cons... is just a matter on how we see it... well i know wat i'm doing... so nth to worry abt it.... work n my personal life is wat i shld focus abt it.... maybe from there i can slowly let go of the stuff which dun belong to me at all...
oh well i shall just stop here n go do my stuff.... will update again when i'm free....
(signing off at 955pm 24/09)
"love a person is nt to hold on him/her tightly until they lost their freedom.... is to let go when the time is right n let them go pursuit their happiness"
"letting go is also a form of love as you would rather to see him/her to be happy than holding onto it where it will lead to more ppl getting hurt"
my fate is still out there somewhere... waiting for me to go find him.... it is either he is right beside me n i dun even know abt it.... or i will just miss him as i'm just too slow to discover him....
life as a single may be alittle bored... but at least i still gt the freedom to do the stuff i want... even though arnd me some of my friends are attached.... but attached n single got their own pros n cons... is just a matter on how we see it... well i know wat i'm doing... so nth to worry abt it.... work n my personal life is wat i shld focus abt it.... maybe from there i can slowly let go of the stuff which dun belong to me at all...
oh well i shall just stop here n go do my stuff.... will update again when i'm free....
(signing off at 955pm 24/09)
a very bad day for me on yest....
first of all is the work... as usual being flood with last min work n unable to follow the schedule to complete my work.....
second of all was i gt quite trouble regarding my feelings to tat guy.... aft talking to joe n ivan.... thinking maybe i shld really just let go.... i alrdy know tat with this current situation i cannot get to anyway... sometimes in relationship is really hard to say who is right or wrong.... it is just the point tat the time is nt right.... some times it appear right in front of u without u realising tat it is alrdy there but u will only realise it when u alrdy gt something you had and it is alrdy too late to do anything.... let go is the best solution to prevent anymore ppl from getting hurt.... (to me i think tat i will rather be the one tat get hurted... rather than seeing him getting hurt n other ppl got hurt from it.... i may sound or see silly but this is me myself.... a girl who will always be the one who will take all the pain by herself....)
lastly.... i accidentally broke my dearest eln.... super sad la.... alrdy gt 2dr for it... n was abt to +5 it then something bad pop up... i wnted to put in booster but i dunno wth i was thinking i went to click the +5 n boom! my eln become a chip.... i stun at the screen for 5 sec then realise wat just happened.... sibey sad ah..... T^T... then now all i can do is just to ticket to iah n hope i can get it back..... last nite i alrdy gt a feeling tat something bad will happen... but i nv know tat it is the eln stuff.... now is in a super emo mood.....
just hope today will be a better day for me... T^T
first of all is the work... as usual being flood with last min work n unable to follow the schedule to complete my work.....
second of all was i gt quite trouble regarding my feelings to tat guy.... aft talking to joe n ivan.... thinking maybe i shld really just let go.... i alrdy know tat with this current situation i cannot get to anyway... sometimes in relationship is really hard to say who is right or wrong.... it is just the point tat the time is nt right.... some times it appear right in front of u without u realising tat it is alrdy there but u will only realise it when u alrdy gt something you had and it is alrdy too late to do anything.... let go is the best solution to prevent anymore ppl from getting hurt.... (to me i think tat i will rather be the one tat get hurted... rather than seeing him getting hurt n other ppl got hurt from it.... i may sound or see silly but this is me myself.... a girl who will always be the one who will take all the pain by herself....)
lastly.... i accidentally broke my dearest eln.... super sad la.... alrdy gt 2dr for it... n was abt to +5 it then something bad pop up... i wnted to put in booster but i dunno wth i was thinking i went to click the +5 n boom! my eln become a chip.... i stun at the screen for 5 sec then realise wat just happened.... sibey sad ah..... T^T... then now all i can do is just to ticket to iah n hope i can get it back..... last nite i alrdy gt a feeling tat something bad will happen... but i nv know tat it is the eln stuff.... now is in a super emo mood.....
just hope today will be a better day for me... T^T
Friday, September 19, 2008
wat a sleepy morning... yest just broke my OT record... 1030pm then went home... reached home alrdy 11pm n my dinner become my supper.... this wk is a damn busy wk for me.... need to print out tons of stuff n make all the admendments...
but during this wk i also gt this question which in my mind n i alrdy think abt it n even question myself abt it.... wat's my feeling to him anyway... is it love or infaturation? i know him for arnd half a yr to 9 mths like tat.... n also nt always meet him.... but dunno y sometimes he will just appeared in my dream n in my mind out from nowhere... he alrdy had a gf... having feelings on a attached guy... this is nt i want.... think i really must finda time to sort out my feelings on him... i dun want to make another wrong step in the relationship stuff again... just hope tat this time round i can manage to get it clear before i start to do any stuff stupid again...
but during this wk i also gt this question which in my mind n i alrdy think abt it n even question myself abt it.... wat's my feeling to him anyway... is it love or infaturation? i know him for arnd half a yr to 9 mths like tat.... n also nt always meet him.... but dunno y sometimes he will just appeared in my dream n in my mind out from nowhere... he alrdy had a gf... having feelings on a attached guy... this is nt i want.... think i really must finda time to sort out my feelings on him... i dun want to make another wrong step in the relationship stuff again... just hope tat this time round i can manage to get it clear before i start to do any stuff stupid again...
Saturday, September 13, 2008
haha... so happy.... in ge my faction manage to make a history in game as the first server to down the GHG in sge... but not only my faction... but also with another faction call anything..... a new map which we thought it is impossible for us to go... n now we can... weeeeeee..... this plan of taking down the ghg with anything actually started since sun.... n we tried during the mon.... but last thurs was gd... all of us were high when the hp down quite fast..... but this also lead to another 2 faction which were unhappy with us... n started to do smth funny.... well now just see how this mth in ge will changes... heehee quite looking forward to it in game.....
whereas in work.... just on thurs 1 designer left..... which leads to the workload increase till they find a replacement which i dunno when it will be..... further more tat designer is from philippines and she justed join us like for a mth like this n she left..... when all i can say tat with her arnd our workload actually increased as all the stuff she do actually were wrong n we need to take time to edit it before we can proceed to the nxt one.... n she can just disappeared from her workspace for more than half an hr.... wat she was doing during the half an hr.... no one actually knows.... but since she alrdy left this company... so i shall just forget abt it n focus on my work......
recently my workload increased quite alot due to my company big client gt plenty of restaurants for us to do the renovation works... n here i am.... being ask to come back on sat during my half day leave doing something which i did nt follow up at all.... n i din have a single clue on how the site are.... no one explaining to me on how it works... except for some sketches.....
i really dunno is this the type of project i really want to handle.... before tat while doing the office project... i actually quite happy and i like it.... but now ever since i start to do F&B projects.... i nt really happy at all... and i also can feel tat i can easily get frustrated.... i really dun like this change..... even though my manager told me if i gt some problem to coop with the work i can just tell her abt it... but how can i eventually say it out? all designers are pack with work... there's nth much can be done all i can do now is just REN~...... but i dunno how long can i ren..... this is really too stress...
haix.... think i better quickly clear off the work if nt i work at sat still need to work till so late... this is gonna be a super duper sad wkend for me.....
whereas in work.... just on thurs 1 designer left..... which leads to the workload increase till they find a replacement which i dunno when it will be..... further more tat designer is from philippines and she justed join us like for a mth like this n she left..... when all i can say tat with her arnd our workload actually increased as all the stuff she do actually were wrong n we need to take time to edit it before we can proceed to the nxt one.... n she can just disappeared from her workspace for more than half an hr.... wat she was doing during the half an hr.... no one actually knows.... but since she alrdy left this company... so i shall just forget abt it n focus on my work......
recently my workload increased quite alot due to my company big client gt plenty of restaurants for us to do the renovation works... n here i am.... being ask to come back on sat during my half day leave doing something which i did nt follow up at all.... n i din have a single clue on how the site are.... no one explaining to me on how it works... except for some sketches.....
i really dunno is this the type of project i really want to handle.... before tat while doing the office project... i actually quite happy and i like it.... but now ever since i start to do F&B projects.... i nt really happy at all... and i also can feel tat i can easily get frustrated.... i really dun like this change..... even though my manager told me if i gt some problem to coop with the work i can just tell her abt it... but how can i eventually say it out? all designers are pack with work... there's nth much can be done all i can do now is just REN~...... but i dunno how long can i ren..... this is really too stress...
haix.... think i better quickly clear off the work if nt i work at sat still need to work till so late... this is gonna be a super duper sad wkend for me.....
Monday, September 01, 2008
starting of the mth le... so fast is alrdy sept... n dec is here soon..... n it is almost half a yr since i started my work at this first company.... so far still ok la... just tat now handling some F&B projects... cannot really digest well.... but hope i can finish this asap so i can start to touch back to my office projects.... i alrdy start to miss them le T^T.....
during these period of time... got thought before of this... even though sometimes what i had in my dream did came true in my real life... but dream in the end still dream... no one will know when these dream will really come true... n who know do human really can forsee the future of our life.... but.... all these is still beyond our control... so is best to wake up ourself from dreams n take a close look at the reality... whether does tat dream comes true... it actually see whether u wanna give it a shot to try anot.... in the past i thinking to design... n i now really become a designer.... just tat dunno is this design path really wat i wanted in the past.... oh well i still young.... still got time to search for it.....
during these period of time... got thought before of this... even though sometimes what i had in my dream did came true in my real life... but dream in the end still dream... no one will know when these dream will really come true... n who know do human really can forsee the future of our life.... but.... all these is still beyond our control... so is best to wake up ourself from dreams n take a close look at the reality... whether does tat dream comes true... it actually see whether u wanna give it a shot to try anot.... in the past i thinking to design... n i now really become a designer.... just tat dunno is this design path really wat i wanted in the past.... oh well i still young.... still got time to search for it.....
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